- ASK FLEX
Inquiries from around the way.

You got questions? Flex has answers. Well.... sort of.
You got it rough? Need some advice on somethin? I'll set you straight!
Hit me up with your question ... flex@ rapindustry dot com

*Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed on this page are solely those of Flex, and do not represent the views of RAPINDUSTRY.COM.

Dear Flex,
I've been with this dude for 10 months... we both went into it for one thing.. we were pretty much just friends with benefits.. but feelings started gettin deeper and he started talking about how he couldnt leave me alone and how he never met a girl like me.. so i guess you could say i started falling for it and started feeling some feelings for him... see i knew he had a "Selected few" that he slept with.. and i had some other dudes i talked to.. but i thought neither of us were "Taken" by someone else... but one day when i was using his celly to call a cab i came across "Wifey"
in his phone.. sure enough dude tells me they just had a kid together and everything... i didnt know he had a main chick.. then she saw one of my text messages in his phone and the bitch started calling me... i didnt know they were this serious... i told him i dont like being used but he keeps saying he's not using me.. how there are plenty other chicks he has sex with but forgets about .. so hes not using me cuz he has sex with me and stays? doesnt fly with me......... is the dude using me? should i leave his ass? ... 18 yr old female


Dear 18 yr old female: Well, I gota keep it all the way real. He's using you, and you're using his ass. Basically, yall creepin'... You gota keep it gangsta with yourself and ask, does it bother me, that dude has a wifey? If it does, then bounce. The only thing that concerns me, is, he knew he had a wifey and didn't mention it to you. He's putting you in danger of a serious ass whippin'... You ever seen Norbit? Imagine if his wife looks like Shaq with a wig. Homegirl is already calling your phone, wasting ya minutes with the dumb shit, next, she's gonna be visiting ya job, then ya home, and all that ol crazy shit. My advice? Dude played you when he aint tell you he had a wifey. See, real pimps tell they're hoes about each other, that way, there's no beef involved. You shouldn't leave him because he's gota wifey, leave him because he aint playing the game by the G-Code,,,then come and see me, ill make it do what it do baby....
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Dear Flex,
i'm a 18 year old female and it seems like every black guy i talk to on a serious level only wants to use me for one thing. Like this one i was recently with.. i thought we were close until i went through his phone and saw WIFEY... why does every black man use me? why cant i be wifey? Im attractive.. nice booty... i let them have their space.. never blow up their phones... never get jealous.....whats wrong with me?? I've seen so many FINE black men with nasty girls at home having their kids.... why do they only use the pretty chicks for side pieces? is there a reason for this......? .. 18 yr old female


Dear 18 yr old female: Well, hmmm you're 18, with a nice booty, attractive? Let them have their space? Dayum baby! You're the perfect side piece! I think that every guy wants his cake and eats it too, and you're allowing them to do so. But let me tell you this. You should be proud of your side pieces status. It is YOU who keep families together. The side piece is a very important part of the modern day family. Sure he has an ugly, out of shape, soap opera watching, sexually replusive wife at home, but it is YOU, the side piece, that keeps him happy....so, don't be ashamed. YOU are appreciated. So the next time you're blowing him, on his lunch break in a sleezy burger king bathroom, be proud, that YOU are doing your part for the American family!

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Dear Flex,
Why do guys NEED a girl at home but still cheat on her? and do they ever have feelings for the side chick? ..
18 yr old female


Dear 18 yr old female: Let me explain the difference once and for all...for all you side piece- whining ass chicks.... Wifey: good credit... Side piece: know bill collectors on a first name basis Wifey: college degree ...Side piece: graduated from Hair and Nail school Wifey: Culinary skills. Side piece: doesn't know what culinary means
Wifey: met in church... Side piece: Met on Myspace Wifey: favorite movie is The Nutty Professor. Side piece: favorite move is The Nuttin' Professor So, you see....put yourself into wifey catagory, and you TOO can be wifey and get cheated on by another side piece.

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Dear Flex,
i'm a medium size with a medium booty and i want to know if you can tell me how i can get thick quick so i can please my boyfreind better and be a video girl fast! Vickey So Sexy


Dear Vickey So Sexy, So you want a phatter ass? well, you could always go with surgery, but that's expensive. You could try doggystyle to plump the ass up, but that's an urban myth. So what I'd suggest is.. forget about the ass. You have a mouth don't you? Use it! Women really underestimate the power of the a great monica lewinsky job. Do you gently cup the balls? Do you bob and weave faster than Roy Jones? Make him feel like his dick is getting a car wash...premium, not express. Believe me, after that, he'll only be worrying about a ham samich and some sleep....problems solved.

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Dear Flex,
hey, What's up man? never thought it would come down to this.. all right my mentality is hittin' pretty hard and low that i don't feel what bottom i'm stressed on.. what would be the best and easiest way from your point of view of coming out from a strong relationship.. how can i build back my strength and gain a straight conscious that'll keep me in check? ...swisha lung


Dear swisha lung, So ya swag is fucked up is it? This seems to be a very complex question, and situation to fix, but actually it isn't. Here's what you do....take a look around and find someone who is doing worse than you... It may be a co worker, a family member or even a complete stranger...if they're fucked up worse than you, it'll make you feel pretty damn superior and good about yaself. Here are a few suggestions: Hospitals., they're full of people that are all fucked up. You may be feeling down, but hey that guy over there has cancer! Or what about Special Ed classes: you may have gotten dumped by a girlfriend, but at least you don't drool while you read! Looking at less fortunate losers will have you feeling better in no time!

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Dear Flex,
does it mean if u are pregnat when u have sex with out a condom tha night before and wake up with pain.......christina


Dear christina, No it means that you better get the morning after pill. Its 2008, how could you be so stupid? Unprotected sex is the leading cause of deadbeat dads. If you wake up in pain, its probably because you were trying to do some shit you seen on "Star Whores: Return of the Flith" which is a great piece of cinema by the way.... anyway, I'm not a doctor, however, I do know that if ya in any pain....the day after, you may wanna consult a
physican. Real rap....but keep in mind the pain you feel now is nothing compared to the pain you're gonna feel when an 8 pound human being drops out of you...play it safe next time....use a condom, stupid. I don't need to be paying higher taxes, cause you decided to get drunk and not be responsible.

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Dear Flex,
Yesterday my fiance disappeared for 8 hours and didnt come back until 11.00 pm. I went looking for her but i didnt find her. I been calling her selfphone and she didnt bother to answer, so when i saw her and asked where she was, she told me, "its not ur business" What does it mean?.......Celso


Dear Celso, What it means, is you need to get a different fiance. See in America, we call what she did "Creepin" that's the reason she didn't answer her "selfphone" I'm sorry homebody, but in the words of the homie Too Short....you can't turn a hoe into a housewife fool! Wake ya dumb ass up and let her go.....before I see ya pathetic ass on the next episode of "Cheaters"

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Dear Flex,
What's up Flex. I feel that I am the best unsigned rapper out, but I am stuck working at a QuikTrip gas station and I'm broke as hell. How come I am not the biggest name on the scene and I'm not making the millions I deserve? I need to know whats going on and what am i not doing right. Thanks.......Curt McGurt


Dear Curt McGurt, Don't feel bad Curt, Rap music is fucked up these days... Just yesterday I seen Busta Rhymes serving hot dogs at the local "In the Buns" eatery.. Its very hard (no homo) for rap artists right now, the budgets, the sales, downloading.. everything is topsy turvy. In order to be a successful rap artist these days, you need to capture the attention of the mainstream media, and use that to sell records. So get yaself into a news scandal... create a buzz. Hey, how about robbing the gas station you work for? Make sure you blast a few employees (gota keep it real, son )...That should get you an offer on Death Row.. the label AND the prison!

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Dear Flex,
I am married and my husband used to be the love of my life. He was so responsible paid all the bills and took care of his family. Now he doesn;t work I am paying all the bills. He said he quit his job because he was loyal for two years to the company. And they were dogging him. Which I agree. Before we were married he did ten years in the feds. I really think he is missing the street life. I am trying to be supportive but I can't pay these bills by myself. And all we do is argue. I am unhappy and I am thinking about leaving. Should I leave or should I stay.......Signed, Nique


Dear Nique, This is a very fair question. I have a question for you, before I answer. It's all good homie left his job cause they were doggin him and all...but um, what is he doing NOW? Does he sit around all day and eat cheeseballs (which are very good by the way) or has he been trying to find work? I believe you should stand by ya man, but unemployed ex-cons only have three options, #1. Man up and get a job. #2. Drop a rap cd. #3. Go back to the streets and get ya dumbass locked up again. Personally, I think he should choose #2...its easy as hell to drop a cd, about some bullshit and sell these days...(superman that ho!) If that doesn't work, girl, I'd suggest you hop on myspace, put on a freak em dress....and make it do what it do!

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Dear Flex,
I have two questions...I'm a female rapper from Cleveland, Ohio...problems...I'm 32 and Cleveland is not the place to come up...I have dreams of an MTV Cribs life for quite some time now and I have children and I'm older...but this music bug won't leave me alone...don't get me wrong ...I'm in school too so prayerfully I'll pass the bar and be an Entertainment Lawyer so that my hands will still be in music...however I can't stop thinking about rocking stages and having my name out there in lights...Am I too OLD for the rap game???

Also, the second questions is how can I come to the game as a Big Girl when Missy and Mia already did that without people saying I'm trying to be like them...I never really listen to Mia solo stuff and only heard her couple of feats. like on I'm bout it or whatever yet people say I sound like her all the time which I think they are just correlating us because we're both big girls...how do I step away from this...

P.S. It's hard to come out when you don't look like the Beyoncé or Ashanti type anyway...being big is just added pressure!!! ....Signed,The Flyest Fat Chick In The Rap Game!!!


Dear Burnetta Fisher, Wow, um, first let me say, you should never give up ya dreams....no matter who tells you, you're too fat, old and wack to pursue them. I do think that you're faced with a ton of adversity (no "big" pun intended) , since you're in Ohio, maybe u can link with Bone Thugs? You could be known as "chubby bone" or "meat on ya bones". I also, think that realistically, age does contribute to the likelyhood of you getting a deal. How bad do you want this dream? Are you willing to lose the weight? Relocate? Change ya style? Also, if you sound like Mia X please change ya style any damn way! She sold about 17 records worldwide. Not a good look.
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Dear Flex,
Yo flex i got this friend. She nice & everything but she got this cousin who is a pain in the ass & is threating that i cant talk 2 her again now i have 2 options-- 1.) dont fight him & possibly not talk 2 her again--2.) fight him & possibly she will never talk 2 me again its a double edged sword. im in some deep shit i need your help......Signed, Qwerty


Dear Qwerty, This is not as difficult as you're making it homie...first, if she is truely ya friend...then mention the beef to her. She should put her cousin in check....point blank...if she doesn't, then she aint a good friend...also, is this a blood cousin or just a male friend she's known for a long time and she calls him cousin, but he still secretly wants to tap dat ass? You gota find out...very important...and also, what's the source of the irritation? Why does "cousin" have a problem with you? Figure that out and you figure out how to deal with this in the proper manner....if that doesn't work...you could always find out where he lays his head...and handle ya business in a cloak of darkness and ya friend will be none the wiser.....good luck pimp!
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Dear Flex,
Yo wat up flex, i'ma mc from the bronx, i've been in and out the studio wit mad people that say they want to help me get my career off the ground then leave me hanging over the years. i've perfected my flow since sixteen i'm 19 now wit a daughter. i work a nine to five to take care of her, i'm not looking to be a millionnaire but i wanta be able to put my gift and skills to use in some way so my wife and kid can be proud of me, cause out of everyone they hold me down ya digg.........Signed, infamous black.


Dear infamous black, Wow homie, I definitely can relate. First off, I respect the fact that you're taking care of ya daughter and family...That's real rap. Don't ever lose sight of the fact of what's real. This music game is full of clowns and snakes...it'll have you on some 'ol" ready to put ya hands on niggas" shit. Best advice I can give you, is put out ya own music...don't wait for anyone to determine ya destiny.....oh yea, make sure you dis somebody on a record too...that's always good...hmm, also, make sure you put a "young" in front of ya name,,like, Young Bronxer, or Yung Bx...labels love the "youngs", and last but not least two words of advice...GOLD TEETH!

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Dear Flex,
I have been in love with a man by the name of scooter. I met scooter on a hot summer day. At the time my man name don was in jail (jailbird). Well me and scooter really hit it off. We got involved with each other and he gave me the best time of my life. Well to make a long story short...Scooter had to go back to Florida to visit his family. He had asked me to go with him but at the time I just didn't go. Scooter did everything for me he was a good man. Scooter went away. I called him the first week he left got no answer. My b/f don got out of jail and we got back up. I was doubting real love at the time b/c of stupidity and ignorance. Me and don got up and scooter called me on the phone the second week at 4am in the morning and i couldn't answer cuz i was up with don. Well the next morning i looked at my phone and it seemed to me that don called scooter back over my phone. Till dis day I don't know if don said anything to scooter do u think he did? Cuz don did take my phone and my car dat nite and he culda made calls then. Scooter came back to see me after 8 weeks and i knew he was the one for me. But at the time i wasn't truthful about what had happened he asked me to my face. So now scooter doesn't want to see me anymore. I called him and text him. I love dat man. I just wish he'd talk to me. what do i do? Should I give him time? I believe we had real love? HELP!..........Signed, Cola.


Dear Cola, Damn, you sound like the R.Kelly and Usher joint. (Singing)....."Same girl....Same girl"....uh, excuse me, thas ma shit. Anyway, you a foul broad. And ima tell you why......First off, you know you was wrong when you holla'd at Scooter, when ya mans was in jail....then Scooter bounced to Florida..(fyi he was goin down there NOT to visit family most likely) that's why he aint call you back right away...also, best believe..if don had ya phone, and ya whip, not only did he speak to Scooter, he probably went and talked to homeboy too. Now they just waiting on you to act stupid so they can confront you. Hopefully that Tv show Cheaters aint waiting with cameras. I don't really feel sorry for ya mami...you created this monster. I'd advise you to come clean, and tell the truth to one of em...beat them to the punch..cause they know about ya dirt. Scooter aint returning ya calls cause he knows about Don..and you aint mention ya feelings about Don...so, this may be a total loss....or here's an idea..write a response to Same Girl, maybe R.kelly and Usher will steal that too!
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Dear Flex,
I'VE BEEN WITH MY DUDE FOR ABOUT 7 YEARS AND I LOVE HIM VERY MUCH. BEFORE WE STARTED DOING THE DEED AND EVENTUALLY BECOMING AN ITEM, WE WERE REALLY GOOD FRIENDS. WE COULD TALK ABOUT ANYTHING EVEN ABOUT PRIOR RELATIONSHIPS. I FELT LIKE I HAD A "GOOD MAN" SO I PLAYED MY POSITION ACCORDINGLY. @ FIRST EVERYTHING WAS GRAVY UNTIL I FOUND OUT THAT HE WAS CREEPIN WITH NUMEROUS FEMALES. IT GOT TO THE POINT WHERE I WAS SCARED TO TELL PEOPLE HE WAS MY MAN OUT OF FEAR OF WHAT NEW DIRT WOULD SURFACE. WHEN I CONFORNTED HIM ABOUT THE SITUATION HE ALWAYS LIED OR FOUND A WAY TO TURN THE TABLES AND BLAME ME FOR HIS ACTIONS! GO FIGURE! THIS CAUSED ALOT OF ARGUMENTS AND STRESS FOR US BOTH. I KNEW I WAS UNHAPPY WITH THE SITUATION BUT I KEPT HOLDING ON TO THE GOOD OLD DAYZ AND STUCK WITH HIM, AFTER 2 MORE YEARS OF BREAK UPS TO MAKE UPS I WAS GIVEN A SCHOLARSHIP TO GO DOWN SOUTH FOR SCHOOL. SINCE SHIT WASNT WORKIN OUT BETWEEN US I WENT FOR IT. SINCE I LEFT HE HAS BEEN SAYING HE WANTS ME TO MOVE BACK AND THAT HE HAS CHANGED. THE KRAZY THING IS THAT I REALLY THINK HE HAS GROWN AND CHANGED BUT NOW I WONDER IF WE'VE OUTGROWN EACH OTHER. THINGS THAT HE USED TO LOVE ABOUT ME HE NOW HATES. I REALLY LOVE HIM AND WANNA MAKE THINGS WORK BUT NOW I'M TORN BETWEEN A DEFINATE OPP TO BETTA MYSELF AND PROMISES OF WHAT LIFE COULD BE LIKE. DO U THINK ITS POSSIBLE TO EVER REGAIN THE PURITY WE ONCE HAD AND MAKE THINGS WORK OR AM I PLAYING RUSHIN ROULLETTE WITH MY FUTURE?.........Signed HALF CRAZY.


Dear HALF CRAZY,
This is a "special" case. So instead of advice, ima just ask questions for you to answer yaself...#1 what have you done specifically to change? #2 How do you know dude is lying about his rendevous with other females? Did you catch him mid-stroke? Any video involved? You know how bitches talk...shit, O.J. technically never killed anybody.. Biggie said it best "If the head right Biggie there e'er night" Basically, did you do everything in ya power to keep homeboy happy? Or just what was just convienent? Also, you said you got a scholarship to school? Hmmm seems like you're the one who stepped away...not dude, I can't be mad at him for "steppin" away emotionally...also, never put 2 before one...Go to school...always achieve. U seem to still be hurting an unwilling to let open wounds heal....Never give up the fight, if this dude is who you want, then go for it,,but don't play the blame game honey....man up, uh, I mean woman up...and if that don't work...u could always write a dis record about him!

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Dear Flex,
Ok Flex, I'm back again with the same issue at a different level now. That chick who did me greasy is at it again. This time rumor has it she be pregnant and the baby daddy...... still investigating on that shit myself. The thing is, we work together and everybody knows that she is pregnant including other clients that come to my workplace, but when it comes to me she claims she aint, and she wants me to give her another chance in my life. One thing for sure is i cant take her back coz she betrayed me and another thing is i cant see the pregnancy is few months old that its barely visible. I dont understand why she wants me when she be pregnant and at the same she denies it to me when to other peops she accepts that she is. Her excuse is she said that she was trying to get over me but she failed. Tell me how lame is that? Why lie to the world and tell me the truth???? Even her best friend( a bitch too) confirmed to one of my managers that she was. I fear the lord dude but she had the guts to swear to the lord that she aint, and actually said she was on her periods right now. Confused I am...is she or she aint??..........Signed, Digga.


Dear Digga,
Listen nigga, This is classic case of, "I don't know who ma baby daddy is" Its obvious that she is pregnant, she just don't know who done the deed. So, in turn, she wants to tell you, she's not pregnant, hoping for a reconcilation with you....then bam! She'll tell you she's knocked up. Thus leaving you no choice, but to be the daddy. Think about it. She already knows where you work. She knows you're a sucker for love ass nigga (no offense). What I would advise for you to do young man, is tell her get a blood test. If she is pregnant,, time will tell. Or better yet, since she likes to lie so much, tell her, you're sterile, and the baby can't be yours, so kick rocks....the truth WILL come out one way or another. Lets just hope it doesn't come out kicking and screaming and looking like you.

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Dear Flex,
Nah mean.. i'm comming from a whole other angle, I see everybody else having relationship problems, i mean i do too but i still gotta get my life right before i start worring about other shit, But the reason me coming to you-- I need to know some of the most importance on being a rapper. You know, what goals i need to meet, how to carry myself.. just advice you know? help me out. im all the way serious with this............Signed, Top Gunna.


Dear Top Gunna,
First advice I can give you as a rapper, is to change ya name from top gunna. That sounds like some airforce delta pilot shit....how about Lil Gunna, or Young Gun Slinga? Something extremely violent and ignorant...that scares surburban soccers moms. How to carry yaself?....hmm well as a rapper you gota get yaself shot a few times. And you definitely better have a criminal record, you know to keep "real" . Don't forget to get involved with some frivious "beef"
with an already well known rapper....that looks good.......I'm coming out with a book, called "So you wanna be a rapper, huh?" Buy that, that'll give you all the ins and out of this rap business. Read that and you'll be a rap star faster than Don Imus got fired from the radio....

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Dear Flex,
How ar you? I am cool. Africa is hot dawg. Dawg, my lyfe is at it cross roads. I have been told to 4give and 4get about what happened wit my granny fatha. Dawg, dis cat has only seen us twice in 6 years. Da first tyme he only stayed 4 less then 2 hours. Dawg i really needed dis cat in my in lyfe and now my lil sista has a got a baby and som1 from our family has 2 speak 2 my lil sista's boyfriend over da walfare off da lil boy? I can't do cos my lil sista boyfriend is my mate. Halla at yo boi. 1 luv.........Signed, #1 stanna.


Dear #1 stanna,
Damn my african brother, now I see where niggas get that shit from! That shit is standard shit in America my original negro brother. But instead of a niggas coming through the block riding a zebra, we sitting on chrome rims...anyway, what I'd advise, is to continue to be a dominant influence in your sisters life. Also, get ya priorites straight man.
What u mean you can't talk to him, because he's ya homeboy...that's ya sister!.. He needs to take care of his responsiblities. I mean this could potentially get ugly as Flavor Flav...what I'd do, is have a serious convo and let him know he's ruining ya friendship.. because he's not doing right by ya lil sister. Tell him if he don't act right, its gonna be problems..just be careful, cause you can't flash ya spear without using it...

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Dear Flex,
I'm pregnant and I've been with my fiancee for a very long time now and I cheated on him with his best friend. We didn't have sex...yet. but should I feel guilty? My boyfriend is very far away from me now because hes working.. who else should I get some from?.........Signed, Moni


Dear Moni
You're very confused, #1 you said you cheated with you're fiance's best friend, but you didn't have sex....well, um ok....what did u do? And guess what? That's NOT ya boyfriend's best friend if he's thinking about bangin his man's pregnant fiance'! What are you thinkin!? This one is deeper, yall have serious issues here, I think ya dead wrong....and I also think that you're playing with fire. See, this is the type of shit why child support should be outlawed. ur thinking of tricking on this poor guy cause your simply horny and can't wait for him to come home. Not only that, but you wanna screw his best friend? Who's gonna be the best man at the wedding? It's gonna turn out badly. My advice is to take a cold shower and tell ya man his best friend aint shit......or because of you he'll be on some "fuck a bitch shit"....... Rest in Peace B.I.G.

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Dear Flex,
How you been dog? I've been dating this chick for bout ten months now. when we met the love was crazy sexy cool and she was a virgin, bless the lord. When I tried hitting it, it sure was tite. I tried hitting for days failing to break. Now rumour had it that she was cheating on me. My chick did spend time with hoes and I didnt like it. She claimed that she aint like that. Then came this day when I wanted to get laid and to my surprise it wasnt as tite as it was when i did it. I was so turned off by it. after the sex I interrogated her and denied everything to an extent she started crying about it. I felt bad. after a week she then admitted that she was cheating on me and she did had sex with the next one. I felt betrayed but I forgave her coz I loved her. She then did it again fo tha 2nd tym and this time with a married dude. Now tell me dog were is the love? Why should I hold on despite loving her?.........Signed, Digga


Dear Digga
Damn, homie. First of all, I wanna commend you for being real enough with ya emotions to even write a letter like that...that takes some real big balls (no homo)....Secondly, I'ma keep it all the way gully with you pimp'n....the second you noticed that she was hanging around known hoes, u shoulda raised ya Ike Turner hand...reason: hoes begat hoes....aka Birds of a feather...I can't 100% blame her. You let her disrespect ya gangsta more than once. She's a lost cause my nig. She will continue to give ya pussy away as long as you keep accepting the bullshit. My advice...fuck all her hoe friends..(on tape) and email the video to her co-workers. Payback is a bitch w/ a nice pair of tits homie...handle ya biz

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Dear Flex,
Well first of all its this girl that i met not by choice but on a work level and i really like her alot from the day i saw her and even more now. She has her way of letting me know that she likes me but every time i make a move she makes some lame excuse or someone interferes with us. Now my question to is what am i suppose to do about this situation that im in and when should i do something about it? I really like this girl and want her in my life...........Signed, Da Kid


Dear Kid
Remember back in high school when you wrote a note to a bad jawn you was diggin and asked her if she likes you to check yes in the box? Well, not much has changed since then....What you gota do is basically confront her ass at work and ask what's really good? Use a slick line to compliment her...I'd suggest," Damn baby, when you gonna stop playing and let me handle dat ass!" That usually works for me but try what u must. In short, you need 2 be direct and stop with the guessing game...if u aint intimidated just simply ask her....oh yea, play the Pharcydes "Passin Me By" for inspiration....good luck.

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Dear Flex,
Flex, I am hanging out with this lady.. she is fine I must say,tight booty and all, but she told me that she got a man, but I dont really understand what she does. We at college together and the dude aint around. Recently she told me that she got nothing on her birthday. I am asking were was the dude. She thought I was gonna play hit and run but, I am not like that man. I wanna be her man, but the problem is she says she got a dude, but I am not sure if she is telling the truth. Should I hang on and keep pressin or just let the lady go?..........Signed, Anesu


Dear Anesu
Dog. Let me tell you where u are right now. You're in the "friend" zone. We've all been there, even yours truely has fell victim to this bullshit. Let me explain....when a nigga is damn near breakin his neck to smash a female the he knows has a man....doing all types of unecessary nice shit, with hopes of hittin the skins.....he's in the "friend" zone. This is the place where dumbass niggas are placed to do all the bullshit the boyfriend is supposed to be doin in the first place! See, she has the best of both worlds. She can cry to you without fear that you'll cross the line, cause she has something you want....pussy. Secondly, and this is sooo vitally important, you will NEVER smash if you remain in the friend zone. My advice, Reverse psychology on that ass. Tell her, YOU got a girlfriend and place her no good ass in the friend zone....you'll be hittin dat ass faster than you say, day after pill.

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Dear Flex,
Im a new kid tryna rap people tell me I spit some hot shit but I have family members that rap wel. l Really tryna get a deal and I want them to see I rap good as them. It probally be different from theirs.. but its my style. So how could I get them to notice me as me.. and not as just their lil cuzin? .........Signed, Yungr Age


Dear Yungr Age ,
I actually, think ya looking at this all wrong. Have you seen what rap has become? You can't turn on the Tv without seeing a "Lil" rapper. Its "Lil" this and "Young" that.....Maybe ya cuzins aren't seeing the marketablity of a young rapper. What Flex would advise is-- this situation is loop a corny 80s R&B record. Contact Jermaine Dupri and handle ya biz kid! Oh, by the way, U might need a manager. Holla at me. I got the perfect shiny suit for ya... (Take that, Take that!)

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Dear Flex,
I have a problem. I like this guy but don`t know how to tell him that. He know´s it already that I like him but he doesn`t want to say anything. What should i do?..........Signed, Nicole


Dear Nicole,
Ahh young love...I remember when I was ya age.The year was '93....Wu-Tang was nothing to F- With. Lady of Rages, Afro Puffs were the shit, Black Moon HAD the Props, and my finishing moves on Mortal Kombat couldn't be defeated.....but I digress. If you wanna know if dude likes you.. just go up to him and say hello. If he says something out of his mouth that makes absolutely no sense to you, then consider yaself "liked". I know it seems kinda weird now, but the more he ignores you, is actually a good sign. That means he likes you. I don't know why we do it that way at that age, but we do. Wait until you get my age and niggas are hollering at you while driving 50 miles an hour yelling obscenties. They think are flattering to you....Hey, I guess some things never change.

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Dear Flex,
I was dealing with this guy who had just broken up with a female a month before i met him. They was together for a year and a half. They was also engaged to be married this past saturday but of course there was no wedding bells. She also has a daughter and the baby is his god-daughter. I respect that. My problem is he still communicates with her on telephone, thru text messages, and now in person. He went to visit yesterday and said it was just for the lil girl but he wouldn't answer my calls but he would text back. His excuse for not answering was he didn't want her to say anything smart.. but my thing is, what could she say? Y'all are a done deal.. she is the past... i am the present and was going to be the future, but now i dont want no parts of anything. Am i wrong for feeling some type way? ..........Signed, Mel


Dear Mel,
You know damn well you're being played. I can't believe you even wasted time emailing me on this one. Dude is obviously knocking that thing off...and your allowing him to...How about the "god"-daughter, is probably the "his"-daughter. Two-words...blood-test. Mufukas lie... DNA doesn't. Now if ya paper is funny, call Maury. Matter fact..do the math on the bundle of joy. How old is she? Is she 9 months younger than the day yall met? If the answer is yes, then guess what?? Ya not wifey..Ya mistress to his wife and family....Wake up and smell the baby shit...boo! Matter fact, you don't need him anymore. Email Flex ya pics girl..I maybe able to help ease ya "pain"....
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Dear Flex,
There's a guy I met about 3 years ago and since day one when we had our 1st kiss at a red light I knew we had a connection. We lived in two diff states but not 2oo far. He was just too busy, but he'd always come to see me when he could. There was just something about him. I could never get him off my mind then and I still can't! "If he asked me to go and move far away with him I'd say "Okey Dokey". We had our ups and downs and 2 this day we are associates. We talk every now and then. He know's my weaknesses. Unfortunately, I am in a relationship with another guy who I love dearly. Is it possible to be in love with two people at the same time? Am I afraid of rejection? Should I tell this guy I am deeply in love with him and I want to be with him? ..........Signed, Lost Without You.


Dear Lost Without You,
Wow this one is deep.. I mean, what makes this guy so special that you'd leave the man you claim to be in love with for him? Maybe the man you have doesn't quite measure up to this other guy. I mean speaking from personal experience, ima pretty busy guy, and I know that time can be an issue when it comes to a relationship. I believe sadly, that you CAN be in love with two people at the same time. There's no easy answer for this one. This is an age old question, that can only be answered (pause) through r&b records. I'd like to suggest a few to help you find your answer: TLC's "Creep"...or maybe...R.Kelly's "Down Low", then again-- there always Jodeci's "Fiendin"....but I'd suggest that you tell the first love how you feel and keep the love you have....oh yea, don't forget to check out the r&b classic "Everybody Plays the Fool" by Main Ingredient, and if that doesn't help you solve ya problem.. may I suggest Biz Markie's classic "Just a Friend"...okey dokey, smokey?
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Dear Flex,
Yo, me & my homie always be chillin.. BUT yo, this mothafucka is mad annoying. I TELL HIM TO LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE & EVERYTIME I WANT 2 FIGHT HIM HE COMES UP WIT SOME EXCUSE!! Yo, but he would have no problem fightin some1 weaker than he is. He know he can't fuck me up so this motherfuckin ADD kid would come up wit some real fake shit like I'm supposed 2 get embarrassed, actin like hes tough....everybody knows he's not. He makin a fool of himself.Yo Flex wat should i do??..........Signed, Chiller

Dear Chiller,
This one is very simple. It's called "reverse psychology". Basically, just pick a fight with him at a time where everybody is watching (personally I'd choose a holiday or sporting event) and proceed to whoop his ass. Hey, punks jump up to get beat down-- ask Brand Nubian. Just make sure that you know you can win. Cause there aint no coming back if he puts foot to YOUR ass, never underestimate a nigga....or Jay-Z's "Lost One" will have a whole new meaning pimp...handle ya biz.
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Dear Flex,
I have this friend from work & he could get mad annoying sometimes & all my peeps from the block always sayin im a traitor because they think his ass is annoying. Now what?..........Signed, Jungle Fever.

Dear Jungle Fever
Well it depends on which friend you consider to be more important. Ya block niggas.. or ya corny friend from the office. Now if it was me, I'd tell the corny nigga that ya "hood" card is at stake, and he can't keep acting like Steve Urkel if he wants to be down.On the other hand, ya peoples from the block should understand that C.ash R.ules E.verything A.round M.e and you can't go around insulting co-workers....so basically, my advice: find new friends or find a new job....I think UPS is hiring.
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Dear Flex,
How do you know when a boy really likes you cuhz the ones tryin to get at me just call me from time to time and I done messed up in the past and chose a nigga that wasn't right instead of one that really wanted to be with me, but that's the past and I can't do nuttin about it but I really wanna know how can you tell if they really like you or just wanna f**k? ..........Signed, Confused

Dear Confused
Well babygirl, for starters-- understand that no matter who you pick it will always be the Wrong one! BUT as far as knowing if he is just in it for the sex... Yes he is.. Period. We all are at first, but, keep in ma mind most wifeys start out as "just sex"...So I say, lure him in with pussy and make his life a living hell for tryna smut you.
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Dear Flex,
Hey Flex!!, My pops had been recently locked up. It's now like 3 months. He's doing 15 years. Me and my mom had to tell my younger sisters that our dad's in school studying to be a lawyer, and that he won't be back for a while. What do you think?? Should I tell them the truth, or should i just wait? One is 14 and the other is 12..........Signed, C-Lo

Dear C-Lo,
Well um....maybe you shoulda asked me this question BEFORE you told ya lil sisters...Also, let's be completely gangsta. You really think they don't know? 14 and 12 is not that young these days--shit, I know kids that age doing 15 years in jail themselves! Plus, law school is only 8 years long..so what about the other 7 years of license plate making he gotta do? Naw, my advice on this one is to confess and tell the truth-- that daddy made a mistake and now he's somebody elses' "mommy"..
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Dear Flex,
I MET THIS GUY ON THE INTERNET...HE IS TRYING TO SMUT ME BUT I JUST WANT TO BE FRIENDS...HE SEEMS COOL BUT HOW CAN I GET HIM TO TAKE ME SERIOUSLY? I LIKE TO WORK GRADUALLY UP TO THAT POINT...I'M A FREAK BUT YA GOTTA EARN IT! GOOD THINGS DON'T COME EASY...WHAT DO YOU THINK?
.....Signed, IAJUSWANABFRIENDZ

Dear ijustwannabefriends,
Let me guess, you met homie on sexmeup.com and in your profile pics you had less clothes on than Lil Kim at a photo shoot...and now you "wonder" why this guy wants to "smut" you----huh? Also, how do you know he wants to smut you? Maybe ya profile name "comegetitdaddy" wasn't the best choice to pick, to attract non-horndogs. My advice is that you think about what you put out there and be honest with yourself. Like I always say, If you can't stand the heat...put ya thongs back on.....
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Dear Flex,
Yo, there's this girl that I like & V- Day is coming up, but she likes Rock music & gets really carried away in it, I don't know cuz I liked her b4 she went all alternative shit...........Signed Chiller.

Dear Chiller,
Well the real question is "how" carried away does she get with it? I mean are we talking trenchcoat mafia, and goth facepaint or biting the heads off of bats? Cause if not, shit, then you're cool...and if not,,,then I got the perfect gift for V Day for ya shorty......headphones.
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Hey Flex...well, i don't have a question, i pretty much know what's up with life and everything, but if i ever do, i'll get at you. I just wanna give you my congratz for the way that you answer to everyone, and your honesty, i see you're down to earth. soo cool...you should give these niggas lessons lol. halla.....Tina-B
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Dear Flex,
WELL, I NEVER SEEM TO FIND A GUY THAT CAN TREAT ME GOOD, I AM ONLY 16 BUT I WANT A GUY WHO CAN TREAT ME THE WAY I SHOULD BE TREATED, SO YOU GOT ANY LITTLE BROTHERS COUSINS? .......Signed Shelia -Looking For a Real Man!

Dear Shelia- Looking For a Real Man,
See this is what's wrong with our young people, why in the hell are you looking for a guy to, as you so ebonically stated "treat you good"?....(it's treat me well) At 16 years old, you should be concerned with your education, your future, your drivers license, etc...not some fake ass lil Chris Brown/Lil Bow Wow wannabe....my advice, is to not worry about dudes right now, get ya mind right, and fall back until you're established, cause if you get pregnant, and have a child early, the little nigga will most likely wanna be a rapper...and GOD knows we don't need anymore rappers with 'Lil" or "Young" in the front of theirs names....Shelia, please take time and remain a child for a few more years....drive slow homie.......adulthood sucks.
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Dear Flex,
Well I have been with my boyfriend for about 1yr and 5 months. and I cheated on him by fucking another guy. Do u think that I should let him know, I am afraid he will leave me, but it was all a mistake. what do I do?
............Signed Desperate to Know.

Dear Desperate to Know,
It depends on who it is.....Was this ya mans' brother or best friend? If so, Absolutely not,,cause then, u gonna have to write him in jail, when he "handles his business"....The real question here is...why did you cheat in the first place? Now,,, I know you've been told that the secret to a healthy relationship is "communication", well that's bullshit! The secret to a healthy relationship is to lie ya ass off, and cover ya tracks....I'd advise you take this one to ya grave.....once you admit to cheating, the nigga will forever have a mental image of his jawn, being bent over every which way, but another dude...not a good look.
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Dear Flex,
My homie's cousin (my homie is still locked up) recently did a bid upstate and he's been chillin on my floor for like the last 6 months. I've been hinting for him to leave. but he aint getting the hint.. and he's pretty intimidating. He like 6 foot and about 380 lbs. All he does is blow dat dro all day long and soak up my TV time. He rides my couch all dam day and eats all the food.. Got any advice on getting this leech outta my pad? Since he been here, I aint getting no trim..
I had a girl or 2 over recently and they got scared and bounced.. How do I get this dude outta my crib? I aint trying to get stuck in the shower..feel me?......Signed, Prisoner In Own Home

Dear Prisoner In Own Home,
Aparently dude thinks he's still in lock up and you're his new celly. But no fear, Flex is here, this one is easy, my nigga.....There is only one way to get a grown ass man out of ya house, a woman! Get him some pussy!.....call in a favor from the neighborhood smut, and he'll leave so fast, you'd think his parole officer moved next door......or if that doesn't work, you could always smoke the house up with that good green, then place a call to his P.O........once they smell that, its back the big house, for his leechin ass, hey I know that's dirty...but I always say, A mans home IS his castle...
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Dear Flex,
I got this homie I've know since we been in high school. We been super tight for years.... been thru it all, hustlin, bitches, you name it. Recently He hooked up with this girl that me and all the homies use to tap back in the day...infact you can include the high school football team. Once she had a drink, it was anybody's game. My homie hasn't had a breezy in a long time.. so she comes into the picture, now he's head over heels for this bitch. He says he loves her and the past is the past.. On top of that, She got like 4 kids. He with her like 24/7 and takes her kids to the zoo and shit. Help me out here..How do I get my road dawg back?.....Signed, Miss My Homie

Dear Miss My Homie,
You oughta be ashamed of yaself, thinking selfishly, If ya mans is happy dating that slut, then I say, let him continue to be the dumb bastard he is! Let him take care of somebody else's 4 kids. Now your job, as his homie, is to NEVER let him forget how much of a clown he was, AFTER, he wakes up and realizes, that he was dating a trick. And believe me, if its one thing Flex knows, its smuts, and she will slip up, (pun intended) You can't turn a hoe into a housewife, but you CAN laugh at mans for trying, he'll be back homie, just wait it out, and if she doesn't.... look on the bright side, she may have some slutty friends....

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Dear Flex,
I got this Girl I met...She's fly as hell. I had my apartment to myself last week, so I got on the celly and asked her over. When I called she was eager to run on over to a niggas pad. I'm thinkin a nigga is fittin to hit that from tha back. She rolled thru lookin fine as fuck. We was drinkin and having fun. We started gettin to kissin and playin and she was all over mines. Here's when I ran into a problem. I got her pants off and I was like Damn!!!!! It smelled like straight sardines homie.. I plugged my nose and went for mines. I didn't even tell her. She's fine as hell, but i dont think I can do that again. What should I tell her? Help a homie out........Signed, Gone Fishin

Dear Gone Fishin-
In the words of Biggie...nigga, you're dead wrong! With the exception of Halle Berry, pardon me, that bitch been on my mind all week, but uh, no woman is that fly where she gets a funk pass...now I have a question for you, shouldn't you have written me BEFORE you hit them smelly skins? Well since you already hit it,nigga, how was it? I hope she didn't lay there like a dead fish (sorry couldn't resist) Now I'm not one to turn down a sure shot, but you may need to move the next freak show to the shower! If it continues to burn ya eyebrows off after the shower, then you may wanna throw in the towel on this one....make that the towel, soap, and the body bath!

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Dear Flex,
I'm trying to get with this shawty. We been talking on the phone for about 5 weeks. She says she's not materialistic but everytime I talk to her, she's talking about some fancy car, some fancy jewelry, etc.. Her conversation is weak as hell, but I gotta hit tha skins, feel me? Any advice? .......Signed, Short Pockets.

Dear short pockets- WARNING homie, you are being bullshitted.....Let me give you advice about how women operate, They say the exact OPPOSITE of what they really mean, If a chick says she don't fuck the first night, then best believe she's a boss, If she says looks aren't important to her, that means she thinks you're ugly as Flavor Flav on Halloween....and if she says she aint concerned about material things, she's most DEFINITELY has heard the latest Beyonce Album, my advice, by some fake grillz, rent a benz and hit it before she figures out you aint ballin',

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Dear Flex,
My little cousin is a real knuckle head...I always try to tell him to stay out of trouble...and stay away from the streets...but he really looks up to me...see a when I was younger I used to hang with some real tough cats...and they had a huge rep..but those dudes are all locked up or dead...or they're old...so recently my cousin got into some beef with some real killers from his neighborhood...so this fool calls me sayin that he told them about me & that the beef was on...now I'm a grown man..with a job..I aint thuggin...how can I still look cool and chicken out...cause I aint about to strap on my tims with these dudes......Signed, "Shook One"

Dear Shook One, Well my dude...I refer you back to one of my favorite diffrent strokes episodes...the one when Willis tries to play tough guy and goes to the school to save Arnold from those two bullies that was broadying him for his lunch...well you remembr how Willis caught a bad one?...Yeah as a matter of fact that was a 2 part episode...well these days...you & me both know...that these young bulls do more than just wear head bands and torn jean jackets...yeah the 80's were much safer for heros...I suggest you tell ya lil cousin..it aint going down like that.....or you can always round up your old homeboys...have the schedule a day off work..and squeeze into their young blood gang outfits..and go give those youngins a good scare...just make sure...you guys are all caught up on your insurance plans..

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Dear Flex,
I'm am a strugglin rap artist. I know I got John Blaze shit, but they not recognizin'.....I'm as hot as ya favorite rapper, and niggas aint tryna let me eat son, what should I do?....Signed, Mad rapper-

Dear Mad rapper, Look son, I know how you feel, but, ask yaself, why aint niggas feelin' you? Are u being honest with yaself? When was the last you've gotten yaself shot? Does ya chain hang low? How may people have you murdered on ya last cd? Is ya grill as icy as it can be? Do you even sing off-key on hooks? Most importantly, who are u beefin with? Answer these questions honestly, pick up a weed habit, and we will be singing ya mindless bullshit soon enough.

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Dear Flex,
I have a homeboy that I been cool with for years...but I never see him with any woman & he never talks about them...
I tried to drop hints but he never picks up...so I'm starting to wonder...and a few of my other friends have mentioned the same issue about him to me...I'm not a homophobic but this is my homeboy...so I need to know...cause if he on the down low...I might not be rollin with him like that...please help....Signed, Straight Lacer

Dear Straight Lacer, Wow Homey... sounds like ya mans..man be dipping in the peanut butter...but todays times there are many diffrent life styles that we must learn to accept...but I wouldn't be dapping him up the same way...I mean...how could I hug you...cus u might be getting something else out the hug...ya dig?...but in my opinion...you should just straight up ask dude...like fam...you don't talk about chicks..what's really good?....that's the best way to get to the bottom of it (no homo)....or you could always...check his dvd collection..and if he has Brokeback, Noahs Ark session dvd, or anything by the Wayans brothers (those dudes man...come on) amongst the collection...then he's definitely pumps in the bumps.

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Dear Flex:
I started seeing this chick and I just met her...I finally went to her crib and she introduced me to her sister...her sister is an old jawn that I feel out of touch with and I was tryin to get that real bad & she was feeling me too...I really wanna slide the new chick to the side and try to rekindle it with her sister....I don't think her sister has told her that we were friends before...how can I pull a Super Duper Pimp move in this situation...is it possible?.....Signed, Ambitous

Dear Ambitous, Unless you wanna be 2006 John Wayne Bobbit homeboy, I'd suggest you leave this one alone.....You know damn well, shawty told her sis about you....and is just waiting for you to play yaself.....you may
not be able to get the old thing back....my suggestion, hit that new thing and skate.....because its only a matter of time before all yall asses wind up on Jerry Springer.

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Dear Flex,
I finally met the woman of my dreams...I been knowing her since college but we never exchanged numbers...I bumped into her at the mall & we've been kickin it for a few weeks...everything was a go...she finally invited me to her house and to my surprise she got 3 seeds...these are the seeds from hell...Robin Harris' baby kids...look like chior boys compared to these kids...now I'm like damn..I'm feeling shorty but her kids are too much I think...she can see that I'm drifting and she wants to know what's up...what should I say?...Signed, Day Dreamer

Dear Day Dreamer,
Well it aint the kids I would be worried about, its the baby daddy drama! If the seeds are that bad, then imagine what begat them! .The last thing you need is beef with some jailbird nigga over his bad ass kids, and how is THIS the woman of ya dreams? She got 3 kids and no man....Light bulb, Fam!, something's wrong with this picture! Now Flex loves the kids, but I say, leave this in ya past college memories, along with ya MC Hammer pants.

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Dear Flex,
There is a very attractive thick, beautiful woman that's sweatin' me crazy at the office, there's only one problem.
She's white! I work around a bunch of sistas and I don't wanna be labeled a traitor, what should I do?
....Signed, Jungle Fever

Dear Jungle Fever,
Look nigga....you should walk right up to her lily white ass, in front of all the sistas, at lunchtime, and give her ya # and tell her to holla! Didn't you see Kiss The Sky? Kayne has freed us, my horny bunny lovin' friend! It's 2006. You don't owe Tenisha or Raquana any explanations! Shit, let Tom Cruise or Brad Pitt come into the office and see how fast that pro-black talk goes out the window....But a word of caution, make sure you wear a jimmy, the world doesn't need another Justin from American Idol walkin around this bitch.